Life With Sulis

Off for about a week. Well not really off because I am working on a couple of projects. But home none the less. Heading to Phoenix this weekend. Should be fun, Just a quick trip to pick up my baby, pick up some items of need, and introduce a new friend to some old friends. Finally getting everything settled. Nice to see everything getting back to normal.

Spent some time thinking about alot of things. The past, The present, and the future. Theyare all scary to me, but like I told T you just got to keep going weather you really want to or not. Letting go of alot of past anger. It doesn't serve me to hold it in anymore. It never really did do any good but destroy everything around me. So I am attempting to let it go.....slowly. In this case time is a friend.

Found out that once again things are being said that just aren't true. I did not run away. I did not abandon anyone. I have always been here. I will always be here. If others take things away from me (not specifically directed at you Tal) I can not control that. I would not and have never abandoned anyone. I love you all too much to leave you alone. Please stop the stupidity. Stop the rumors and the speculation. I am sorry last year turned out as it did. There was a lot of things happening out of my realm of influence. I can not control everything as much as I would dearly like that to be true. To have yall act like I am a bad guy for things happening to me beyond my control is assinine and hurts me to the core. I have loved all of you despite times when life was not good to you even when the problems where directly caused by your actions. Why do I not deserve at least the same respect? Consider what you are losing. Love is a difficult thing to get back once it is gone.

This is the song for today. Staind Fade

I try to breathe
Memories overtaking me
I try to face them but
The thought is too much to conceive

I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

So where were you?
When all this I was going through
You never took the time
To ask me just what you could do

I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became 'cause

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

I never meant to fade...
Away

I NEVER MEANT TO FADE

I just needed someone to talk to
You were just to busy with yourself
You were never there for me
To express how I felt
I just stuffed it down
Now I'm older and I feel like
I could let some of this anger fade
But it seems the surface I am scratching
Is the bed that I have made

I try to breathe...

posted by digitalsulis @ 9:40 AM