Life With Sulis

Midlife crisis and other wierd hormonal shifts:People who deal with me on an everyday basis have seen some rather wierd changes occur in my life in the past month or so. For the past few years i had wallowed in a sort of haze of self pity and fear. I was afraid to do anything but the most basic things that where so monumental as to need to be done or cause physical or emotional damage. It was debilitating and i realized it kept me from loving the people I wanted desperatly to love. I kept me from completing the things that made me life worth living. I would love to sit here and say that everything is fixed and I am suddenly zen like in my perfect persona but we all know that is impossible. I have a long long road to go before I can even say I made good progress. But I am learning and to me that is the most important thing right now. The following two songs kinda spoke to me. I have to believe that there is a reason why things always fall apart just when I think that they are going well. I have to believe that if i stick it out and stick to my beliefs and my morals that things will eventually work out. I hope that all of you in my family now know that I love you. that i have always loved you and that will never change no matter what is happening in my life at the time. That is UNCONDITIONAL. I know that you will all eventually hurt me in some way and that is ok I know that eventually it will work itself out.

I'm A Survivor (Jo Dee Messina with Brad Johnson)

I was born a believer, biggest dreamer this world has ever seen
Ready to face most anything but learn that I was naive
Ran into things in life that I never planned
But that's made me who I am
I've had highs and lows and seen my share of ups and downs
There's been nights it seemed there wasn't a friend to be found
I've had to save myself from drowning in a sea of tears.
But I'm still here

('Cause) I, I'm a survivor
I won't let it get the best of me, I'll try my very best to be that strong
Oh, oh, oh, I, I'm a survivor
And I'll never give up, never let out, never give in
I'll just keep moving on

Oh
I was taught that honesty was simply the only way
I've spoken honestly and had it blow up in my face
Sometimes I look around and I don't know what I see
But I gotta believe in God above and what he's made me

No
I've witnessed pride and ego destroy the kindest of hearts
Seen how gread can take the best of friends and tear them apart
Every corner, every turn, every lesson I have learned
Has helped me find my way

I, I'm a survivor
I won't let it get the best of me, I'll try my very best to be that strong
Oh, oh, oh, I, I'm a survivor
And I'll never give up, never let out, never give in
I'll never give up, never let out, never givin
Oh no I'll, I'll never give up, never let out, never give in
I'll just keep moving on
I'm a survivor
Oh yes I am

Was That My Life

I don't want to be the one who's old before their time
And loose the wonder that I felt as a child
I can't run this race believing I might loose
There's still so much to see, so much left to do
Yes I'll fall before I fly
But no one can say I never tried
Oh we just get one
Ride around the sun
In this dream of time
It goes so fast
That one day we look back
And we ask...

Was that my life
I close my eyes and think how lucky I have been
To hold the ones I love and share my dreams with them
All those sunny days and all those stormy skies
Good morning kisses and sweet goodnights
I can't tell them enough
Just how much that they are loved

Oh we just get one
Ride around the sun
In this dream of time
It goes so fast
That one day we look back
And we ask...

Was that my life
We just get one
Ride around the sun
In this dream of time
It goes so fast
That one day we look back and we ask...
Was that my life
Was that my life
Goin' on by
Rollin' rollin' rollin' by

Was that my life
Was that my life

have a great weekend, love and kisses sulis (still trying to fly,still flopping around on the ground)

posted by digitalsulis @ 6:07 PM