Life With Sulis

Ok last night sucked. Car broke down. Got in an arguement. Not a happy camper. Slept some feeling better. Went through in my mind and thought about what I did wrong and what I did right. Thought about what was said to me and how some of it is right. I like my life. Up until the last few months, I have been fairly happy with my life( the problems where for reasons of distance and not particularly my life) I had a normal for the most part life with the exception of being away from some of the people I hold dear to me. I had a really good home life. Working, helping at the school, church, kids organizations, bingo, and even softball. I was living the american dream I had a decent home that was for the most part almost always happy. Things where looking up and they still are. Debt is declining and work is increasing. But I was missing something. So i made the 1000 mile trip to Arizona to find it. What i found wasn't what I thought I would find. I found that what i was missing was a dream of what should have been. Not what is. I found that inside I am happy with who I am. Even if people misunderstand and misinterpret me I know that at least in some peoples life I make a difference. It may just be a baby I hold in a hospital, or a friend I talk through a down time. They may be losers but they make a difference to me. Those losers where there for me when everyone else turned their back on me. They brought me out of a point where death seemed a brighter option then living. I can't ever repay them for that. I guess I am not the right one. I have made alot of mistakes and I am sure I will make many many more but I know inside I am a good person. I like who I am inside. That is all that matters. I can't change who I am fundamentally just as i would never want those I love to change who they are fundamentally. But i know I am right for someone. Everyone is right for someone. Here is to hoping that everyone finds that someone who is right for them. Someone is gonna love me for who and what I am.

posted by digitalsulis @ 11:28 PM