Life With Sulis

Well i never made it to the class, yesterday my youngest woke me up very early because he was having a major grand mal siezures. It took almost an hour for him to recover. I have to reschedule again for maybe Tuesday if they let me take my son. or I find someone i really feel comfortable with dealing with his siezures like kat to do it. I can't help but thinking every time he has one of these episodes weather this is going to be the last time i get to hold him. If he is going to get sick agian and a million other stupid and insane thoughts go through my head. Was there something i could have done differently when i was pregnant that could have prevented all this. but most often i think WHY???? WHY HIM??? As if anyone deserves to have something like this in their lives. I know its petty and shallow of me but sometime i wish anyone but him would have these issues. I haven't talked to Tal about this because I just dont know what to say. I feel like i failed my son in some way. I htought all this shit was over and he was going to get to have a normal life, but i guess that is not how life wants it to happen. I know Tal will just worry about him and there is nothing he can do.


And Tats I understand the situation. I mainly took it down because in some ways I was not really ready to say what i said. I also think it came out sounding at Tal put it way to much like i was trying to blow smoke up Souls ass. It was not what I was going for. As stupid as it may sound I really just wanted him to know that he wasnt alone. That alot of us appreciate him letting us know how he feels about all kinds of thing, that is what is so nice about bloggers you can say what you can never say face to face with that person. It allows others to get a glimpse of things about you that they probably will never get to see otherwise. Sorta the same reason why life cams are so popular and reality shows make so much money. Poeple like to see into the lives of other people. WE are all inherently nosey.


I just hope that you guys always know that allthought i don't have money or work and any investors now for you guys, I am always looking out for you guys. I do my best to help you guys out when i can. Please feel free to tell me to butt out if you want me to or ask for help or just call because you feel like talking. I consider you all family.


Anyways that was all i really have to say. if anyone is interested in what i actually said the other day, i could repost it.


well talk later, sulis

posted by digitalsulis @ 11:47 AM