Life With Sulis

Perceptions:Everyone sees reality in their own special way. I find that if 10 people experience the exact same experience they will percieve it in 10 completely different ways. Normally this is a good thing. But when it comes to love and family all those different perceptions lead to pain and misunderstandings. When people look at your life and try to pick it apart. Try to find what they want in it, and then share that with others: you only get trouble. I spent probably 4 hours on the phone last night getting to hear just how different the other people in my life percieve things. It was an eye opening painful experience.


Talent seems to think that my perceptions of things are screwy. Maybe he is right. I have always looked at the world a little differently then most. I try to see the good in situation and the good in people. I am a giver and a pacifier. It brings a lot of conflict into my life. I am the one who always takes home the strays. I live to serve other people, what gets me going is knowing that I made someone else happy or I changed someone elses life for the better.


I am sitting her trying to figure out how I go about changing who I am to fit into what society wants me to be. Society doesn't want me to trust others. It doesn't like me to help others. Status Quo is the way it should be. But I can't live like that. I can't look at a hungry child and not want to give it food. I can't look at a teenager who is begging for someone to care about them and turn them away. It is just not in me to do it. Even when I fight I do everything I can to make things as pleasent as possible. I don't ever want to hurt people. (ok maybe in play but not emotionally)


I know you all will find this funny but I have found alot of my faith back in these last few weeks. Now this is to say that I have always had a certain faith. One that once again is not normal. I don't profess to any religion. I believe in one God. I believe in Jesus Christ. and I believe that the Holy Spirit is part of everything. We where made in the image of god and through the holy spirit given powers to do anything. Our own doubt and lack of concentration is the only thing that holds us back. I have always believed in the rule of 3 Whatever you do will come back to you 3 times. So why would anyone do anything intentionally bad to someone else. They would just be hurting themselves.


SO lately I have been praying an awful lot. Meditating on why people react to me the way they do. I found that one saying keeps comming up in my head everytime I do. Soul said it to me a long time ago. " The road to hell is paved with good intentions." (he was refering to why one would get punished for doing something wrong when their intention was to do the right thing.)I do things that upset people because I am trying to please them. My efforts often get misrepresented and twisted or outright thwarted because often I just can't image why someone would not want to help someone else.


I know that I have said this before but to me I don't understand why you would not want to help the others around you. I mean someday and you don't know when, you may need their help. If everyone helped those around them then life would be so much better for just about everyone. Think about it. If people worked together to do things like housing, daycare, food, etc. so much heartache and strife would be stopped.

posted by digitalsulis @ 9:12 AM