Life With Sulis

Starting Over:Some of you my or may not know that I started a business in phoenix a few weeks ago. I haven't seen a whole lot of profit from it but I have seen a profit and that is encouraging. I have also rearranged my life a little. I haven't completely ruled people out of my life but I am moving away from dealing with them on an everyday basis. My friends have been after me for some time to get my shit together and decide what the fuck it is I want. I have been waivering about it. Not wanting to rock the boat. Not wanting to change things for good or bad because I didn't want to start all over again. But it comes down to this. Where do I see my future? What can I do to change my life for the better in the long run? What can I do to make myself happy?

Those of you who know me personally know I never do things the easy way. I don't know weather its stubborness or stupidity but I have always gone against the normal way of doing things. All I know is I am not happy where I am. Its not the people .I love the people in my life. I just want my life to be as normal as possible. I don't ever see that happening with the current state of my life. So I need to reevaluate what I am doing. What I am looking for. What I am wanting.

To make matters more complicated this doesn't just involve me but involves several other people. Whos lives I really do not want to throw into caos. How do I get what I need and not cause problems for the other people involved? Its not an easy question. There are no real answers.

So here is my delema.
Do I want to keep my current job. I love my job but it doesn't pay a whole hell of alot. It does allow however me to be avialable for my child.
Where do I want to live. Do i stay here? Do i move to a smaller apartment by myself? Do I move back to Phoenix?
there are tons of reasons for an against any of these. If you want to know what they are email me.I jsut don't want to get that personal on this right now.
How do I want to relate to the people in my life? My Lover, My friends, My children, The various families involved.
Its all so complicated. I dont have a clue where to begin.
I just know that this new year things need to change. For good or bad they need to change.

Where do I start? Does anyone have a clue? Does anyone know how to begin this little quest? Does anyone who knows me know what it is that I am looking for.......what I am missing..... why I feel so empty?

sulis

posted by digitalsulis @ 8:40 AM