Shouting, is an option. I just want my life back. I want it to be mine agian. Yes, I am a big selfish bitch. I am only thinking about myself yadda yadda yadda. Deal with it. I want no other obligations then to my children. Period! Then I can decide what I want to do with my life. Thinking about finally doing the things I put aside so many years ago. Finally getting where I want to go. I never had doubt I would get there someday I just hoped and preyed I would not be 50 in med school.
New regime. doing pilates, 1 miles walk, and the navy seals swim program. Tired of not being completly happy with the way I look. Now that I feel like everyone in my life loves me just the way I am. (anyone that matters anyways) I feel like I can do this for me and not feel creepy about it. Pilates is so simple but so hard all at the same time. When I have more money I may join curves down the street.
Personal grooming wise. I realized the week I had not lived up to my personal standards lately. There used to be a time when I would not leave my house without looking polished and together. Ironed clothes, makeup on, hair perfectly done, nails the whole thing. I lost that somewhere. Not to say I look like a slob all the time. Or anything. I just havent been as perfectly done as normal. Poma helped me to remember that. She has got my feet looking picture perfect again.my skin has never been better. and my hair could kiss her. Going to do my nails today. I miss having them done it makes me feel more feminine in some way.
So Sulis in her best fashion is remembering her lessons from What Southern Women Know (That Every Woman Should): Timeless Secrets to Get Everything You Want in Love, Life, and Work by Ronda Rich. There is something to this Southern Charm you hear so much about. I think Southern woman are the true geisha of the US. Before anyone gets all up in arms. Geisha does not mean prostitute. It mean literaly artist. A true Geisha doesn't undress herself for someone for money. ( the hours alone it took to get her dressed should be enough proof of that. She would never be able to get dressed again- the have a person who dresses them once a day.***) She is a companion, Someone to go to forget your worries, to have some fun, She can dance, sing, play an instrument, etc (thus the artist part) and she knows when to laugh and cry at your jokes and stories. In other words she is an artist at makeing you feel at home. Like you are the king of her castle.
Anyways, So I am working on making myself feel better. I am just drained right now. So much to do and not enough time and moeny to do it. I have a job but I hate it so I am working on finding another one. I am so tired of not having enough money to pay the bills. Frustrating as hell. Working now on rent and a vehicle. have about 3/4 of the rent. But no hope on the car front.
Hope everyone is doing well. miss ya all. hugs sulis
***This is not to say they don't have sex when they find someone attractive. They are just descreet about it. The higher up geisha have a "Husband" who pays for their time and expenses to have them at their discretion. Even that doesn't guarentee you will get sex from her. The whole idea of geisha fascinate me. Why not have people whos sole purpose is to entertain and make people feel good and happy? What in the world could be wrong with that? Chuckles ok the whole forced bond slavery thing but nothing is perfect.
Ill put up more geisha links later have to go for now
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