Life With Sulis

Sigh
I am so tired of this job. I liked it when I had everything working smoothly but Apparently, the new girl wants to point out all the faults in my procedures. I can't deal with this. I mean they don't pay me nearly enough to put up with her calling me at 11:45pm to tell me the same thing she told me earlier in the day and then turn around and pretend like she didn't hear me and write a note to my boss like I didn't give her the information in the first place.

I am seriously considering quitting. I am actively looking for a new job. I have to find someone to do schoolwork with mimi as I will probably get a regular full time job. I don't want to but I refuse to be dependent on someone else to take care of me.

I am seeing a counselor to deal with my panic attacks. She laughed when I told her that Tal had once told me I was as crazy as my mother. She told me that the feelings I was having was perfectly normal and that considering I am a child of a bipolar parent she is amazed that I am not drug addicted or alcohol addicted. I laughed and told her I am probably the only 35 yo I know who can honestly say I have never done drugs. I drink alcohol very occasionally and maybe 4 times in my life did I actually get drunk. I have always been a scaredy cat about getting caught doing something wrong so I am a stickler for rules. I try to follow them to the letter when possible. Plus I watched what drugs and alcohol do to wonderful people. I never want to have to subject my family and friends to that kind of problem. Anyways, so she is helping me deal with the panic attacks and letting vent all the stupid crap that festers in my brain.

Sometimes its nice to be able to vent to someone I know isn't involved or knows any of the people invovled. Being able to say God this person is driving me nuts because ..... makes that person so much easier to deal with later because I don't have all that resentment filling up my soul.

Saw the doctor today, they want to do another ultrasound of my kidney its still very point tender and I desperatly need it to be taken care of. My surgery for all of these issues will be taken care of after I get back from Penny's wedding {btw can someone explain to me how you link to someones lj like y'all do when you are posting)Kimi if you read this btw could you ask animal what she and Flagg want for their wedding gift. Or is there some registry they have? ::Cracks an evil grin. Pondering what Flaggs registry would look like.:: Wow I suddenly feel the urge to go through my journal and do a spelling and grammer check. hehehe.

I wonder sometimes if you are supposed to be so confused still about life when you are 35. I mean I thought I would have it all figured out by now. In reality, I often feel more confused now about where I am going and what I want, Now then When I was 18. What the hell is up with that.

well i better get going my dvd is done burning. talk soon.
hugs

posted by digitalsulis @ 3:03 AM