Life With Sulis

Well its been a long week and an intresting one. I learned alot about myself some good some bad. I learned some of my weaknesses and some my strengths. I brought myself to beg and was flat out denied. But maybe its all good. Maybe last night was the permission to stop punishing myself and start living. I am stripped of everything and now I am just me. No where to go but up. Nothing to do but shine my smile and find what it is that makes me tick. Last night was a catharsis for me in that I realized alot of pent up feelings for people in my life. I learned that I am not fully cleansed of the baggage from 10 years of marriage to Tal. Now before anyone says anything to me about this I want to set the record straight. At NO time have I ever said that I was perfect or that I have done nothing to destroy the marriage that Tal and I had. I got depressed and the more depressed I felt the less I accomplished until finally I was not even doing anything. Tal saw this and he became depressed and more and more angry and resentful. Which became a vicous cycle that even after 10 months apart we still can't seem to face. I am still angry and I prolly will be for awhile as I sort all this stuff out in my head. Oh and btw D_z thanks for being there for me today. It means alot to me to have someone there for me when I feel so alone. Time will heal. I hope for everyones sake it happens quickly. I love y'all. I have a song that has been stuck in my head all day I will share it later I am late right now. laters. sulis

posted by digitalsulis @ 1:32 PM