Life With Sulis

Love me when I'm gone: Feeling a little left out and lonely lately. My life has become kinda busy and distracting. A while back Ochre did a thing called a cubing on me. And in the process he stated that I don't feel like I can trust my friends. Just a rare few. and I am talking 1 or 2. When I am in trouble I know they have my back. No questionsand they save the lectures for later. They don't try to make me feel bad about it. They just do it. Becuase they love me. As for the rest. It seems that its fine for me to be there for them when they need me, but should I need them they disappear. It didn't used to be like that. But in the past few years. I have secluded myself and alienated a few really close friends. Now I am living in the world Tal always claimed I was in in the first place. People will always let you down. He would tell me. I never let myself believe it. Up until recently I never felt it.

Right now I am not the happy girl that everyone is used to. It scares people. They don't like it. Why are you so mean? Are you mad at me? NO DAMMIT! I am mad at the world. I am mad at myself. For allowing myself to wallow in my emotions. For not stepping in and straightening things up before it got me depressed. I knew coming back here would open me up to all this. I thought I was ready. I know I can be strong. ITs time to work out the plan. New job. new schedule. Find the way to work it out.

Life you said Poma sometimes what you want to say has already been said so much better.

3 Doors Down
When I'm Gone

There's another world inside of me that you may never see
There's secrets in this life that I can't hide
Well somewhere in this darkness there's a light that I can't find
Well maybe it's too far away
Or maybe I'm just blind
Maybe I'm just blind

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone

When your education x-ray cannot see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness, I'm alive but I'm alone
And part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone

Maybe I'm just blind

So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything in me
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could
I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Right me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone
Love me when I'm gone,
Love me when I'm gone,
When I'm gone
When I'm gone
When I'm gone

posted by digitalsulis @ 4:17 PM