Sunday, January 27, 2002

Got a place to live now. Not the greatest place but it is cheap and decent. Spending hours going through my mind trying to figure what is wrong with my head. Where my communications skills are lacking. Seems no matter what I say it gets twisted against me. Where is the message getting fucked up. Even people who i would think know me seem to not know who i am at all. I talk to people about what is hurting me trying to sort it out people I think I can trust. But it comes out like I am trying to get some kinda pity and that is not what i want. Hell I dont know what I want. I want to know what is wrong with my world. what is wrong with me. That the people I love always treat me like I dont matter. I get respect and love and careing from all the people I could give a shit about but the ones I really care about they could give a fuck about me. Maybe I just should not talk anymore. Maybe I should just turn into myself and force myself down the road I need to tread. Alone. i have to move on. the path I was taking has been obliterated. Life has destroyed my goals. Now I need to figure out new ones. Thank you to those who have stood the test. You have made me stronger for it. I hope I can make you proud of me. I know you worry and I want you to know you have no need to. i will get through all of this soulsearching in one piece. It takes more then this to kill me.

posted by digitalsulis @ 4:04 PM 0 comments