Life With Sulis

Friendship ehhh???? this subject is near and dear to me. Mainly because I am always getting asked by certain poeple who will remain nameless if I even have any real friends. He calls anyone I call a friend an acquaintance. Of course He thinks his friends are all real friends. Typical asshole male. BUT beyond that normally I just blow him off. I know I have a really good mix of friends who love me and take good care of me. There has been those times that I have questioned our friendships. T will tell you I have called him more then once crying my eyes out questioning my friendship with kat. For a long time she refused to give me a key to her house and has told me on more then one occasion that if I needed a place to go I could not stay at her house. Now this hurt me really bad because We have been friends for almost 16 years and I have always been there for her even when It was really hard to be there for her I was. To me I was feeling abandoned. Now what really hurt was that she let like 3 other people into her home and gave them all keys and they where people she had met maybe a week before. It hurt me so bad I wanted to cry and cry. Since then Kat and I have worked through this issue. Some of it was a misunderstanding some was my being too much of a mommy and trying to make things perfect for her when she wanted to do it herself wrong way or not. and part was her mother. (that is a whole nother story) but needless to say we are still best friends.

So after all that what i think of as a friend is someone who is there for you even when its not convient. Who will wake up in the middle of the night and hold your hair for you while you puke because you are too sick to do it yourself. Someone who will share their last dime,piece of bread, or the clothes off their back if you need it. makes me wonder HOW good a friend are all of you?

posted by digitalsulis @ 11:14 PM 0 comments

Hmmmm... Beauty, in the eyes of poma:

Physical appearance is the last thing on my mind at any given time. Period, end of discussion. ... unless i feel like i'm being scrutinized by another on how i appear, then, tis only my own physical appearance that i am concerned with. I think, i have made myself numb to outward appearances that people attempt to mask themselves with. I have a few reasons for doing this... and a few ways that i have gone about doing it. The most apparent reason for doing so is that, paying attention to the physical only detracts from my concentration of studying a person psychologically. When i first meet someone, i study, quite closely, his/her mannerisms, speech, and analyse why that person is doing these things. This helps me to relate better with them, and i get to cut through the crap of wasting time on no-brained dimmed-wits. I haven't found my 'loser' radar, to shut it off yet.. but that's another story.

Anyways, in short... it is the study of people that draws me back to someone, not their appearance.. and it is the interest level that i find in them that intrigues me. True beauty is established after i know s/he is truly beautiful.

My philosophy on how i present myself to others: though i am very self concious about my looks.. my appearance does not matter too much at all to me.. i try to please those who emphasize appearance by 'doing myself up' when i'm around them. But if it were up to me, i would dress down, almost looking like a sloppy, yet clean, person... in fact, this is what i did all through high school... dressed a little hippyish. And when my mom would ask me why i didn't dress nicer i would say, "If people can't get past what i'm wearing, or how i do my hair, or what shoes i wear, to see who i really am under-neith, then i don't really want to know them." ~ I live by this now, and apply it to people i meet.

Anyways.. i could go on about this for days, but i'll spare you. :)

posted by PoMaBear @ 6:44 AM 0 comments