Monday, October 28, 2002

Well i just wanted to say thanks for being supportive to those people who are you know your names. I didn't get to go to the concert(good thing i said to message me and not just buy the tickets that wouild have been a mess) because its been a little crazy around here. I have been looking for a new job and we had a funeral to go to.

Death is not an easy thing to deal with and even more so when that person is a huge part of your everyday life. Waking up and not seeing them is difficult at best, maddening is closer to the reality. Death is even harder when that person is way to young to die, leaving behind his family and loved ones.

Going crazy missing my beautiful girl havent had a chance to talk to her in 2 weeks. I hate that. I want to hear her voice everyday. see her beautiful smile everymorning. Pettyness and obsessive anger sucks. I miss her so much, I wish there was some way to make her understand that. I have been out till late everynight these last couple of weeks getting things done. trying to bend things back together. Putting back all the pieces of my life. The baby is doing great though. He is getting good grades in school and everyone loves him. He is a doll. The counselor is helping him deal with everything and to hear from his teachers and others the counselor is doing a good job. At least one of my children is doing ok.

Not getting enough sleep thinking about this and other pressing issues. Trying to get the computer back up was a nightmare. With everything that happened I am back to square one with 2 sites because we had not made the backups yet. So I will probably be online trying to get all these pics off to kimi. and work on the car, the insurance site and the bdsm site(that one is just for fun and as a favor to the owner--creative stress relief).

That being said I need to get going I have a full day ahead. Hopefully I can get home and settled before the baby has to head to bed and beautiful girl is home so I can finally talk to her. talk to yall soon. love ya sulis