Life With Sulis

Continuation of Rant or Family Fun Part 2:
Today has been a trying day for me. I am a person who has very strong ideals about family. How family should act. How family should treat eachother. That being said noone in my blood family has ever lived up to this standard. Noone in my extended family has either. Only 3 people in my "Family of Choice" meet the criteria. So today I have been just a little bit upset thinking about what my family is doing to the next generation. They sit there and tell me that my moving around is not love (as if I had a choice in the matter) Not being god I cant control the action of others. I can only do my best.


anyways their are a few people who need to truly listen to the next song and take it to heart. We are fucked up because YOU are. You want to know what the problem is look at yourself. Truly ask yourself if what you are doing is in the best interest of your FAMILY! Like I said to yall before love is unconditional. You don't send family away. You don't turn your back on family. Period! I have lost soooo much respect for yall do to these issues. I am ashamed to be in your family right now. I am sorry for what yall are doing to these poor kids.




Staind
For You

To my mother, to my father,
It's your son or it's your daughter,
Are my screams loud enough for you to hear me?
Should I turn this up for you?

I sit locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
This silence gets us nowhwere!
Gets us nowhere way too fast!

The silence is what kills me
I need someone here to help me
But you don't know how to listen
And let me make my decisions

'Cause I sit here locked
inside my head remembering everything you've said
The silence gets us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere to fast!

All your insults and your curses make
me feel like I'm not a person
And I feel like I am nothing but
you made me so do something
'Cause I'm fucked up because you are
Need attention, attention you couldn't give

I sit here locked inside my head
Remembering everything you've said
This silence get us nowhere!
Gets us nowhere way to fast

Stop the silence. Love the children. Bring them home where they belong. Just because life is not perfect doesn't mean you should send them away.

posted by digitalsulis @ 10:21 PM 0 comments

A Compliment of Sorts:
A few weeks ago a very close friend who has known me for several years paid me a compliment. I didn't really see the significance of the statement until yesterday. This friend has seen me go through alot in the past few years and has watched me to see how I reacted to this and that. And being that he is a professional writter he really notices alot of things most people don't. Well he sat me down and told me that he admired me because through all the strife and all the drama I always kept my head for the most part and my morals and standards never changed or waivered. He said "you are comfortable in your own skin" something few people are. The truth is I live my life in such a way that if a camera or a reporter where to bother to follow me everyhere and broadcast my life I would not feel I needed to hide anything. That is not to say I don't make mistakes. That would be arragont of me and completely stupid to say. I make tons of mistakes some of which I am not proud of but they are who I am. Who I am is a combinations of my mistakes and my victories. I learn from my mistakes and try not to make them again. Hey I am not saying I never make the same mistake twice. Fuck I am notorious for makeing the same mistake 10-15 or more times until it finally sinks into my thick skull. But that being said I know what I want for the most part. I know what I believe. And I know how I want to treat others.

A quirk of my nature is that I have a few people in my life that I LOVE. Not all of them deserve any attention or love from me or anyone for that matter. But for me when that relationship is created I give that person a portion of who I am. They become part of me and as such no matter what they do I will still love them. that is not to say I will be in love with them but I will love them. They will forever be a piece of my family. As Lex says my "Family of Choice" It hurts me greatly when these family members deliberetly set to hurt me. or try to find something to pick at. You would think because I am very consistant about how act and they have known me for so long they would know better then to think that I would do anything deliberatly mean or disrespectful to anyone in the family. They would know that my position is to provide a medium for peace. I want everyone to get along and work together. So everyone can be happy. Not one person or the other but everyone.

My little tizzy the other day about not being everyones whipping boy while I am sure there are a few people who will feel they are being pointed at by me it was truly my family here in Texas that I was directing that statement to. I want the record to state that I have at no time and will at no time ever try to make someone love me more then they love someone else. cept maybe Digital (giggles but we will see about that)I leave my door open to everyone when they are in need. I am sorry that you feel threatened by that or by how much your children love me. By your actions you are forcing them away from you and to me. They want to know that you love them UNCONDITIONALLY. Not if they are good not if they do what you want them to do but all the time. That you will not turn your back on them or send them away. That is what love is about. Knowing that noone is perfect and accepting the imperfections of those around you. Knowing that they may hurt you they may turn away but that your love is still there. You are not saying its ok to do stupid things just that if you do stupid things I will help you work your way out of them and I will still care for you. Its not that hard. All mothers should feel this for their children. All families should feel this for their members.

I am sure that there are alot of you who disagree with this but It is my life value. How I gage my sucesses and failures. Not by what everyone else wants but if I have lived up to my own standards. I love you mom you know that. Everything will work out with the girls. Relax and try not to go overboard so much. All they want and need is your love and understanding.

If you who know me and think that I am crazy or stupid think hard about this. In all the time I have known you It is I who has remained constant. Who has shown respect and restraint through almost every sling and arrow thrown my way. It is I who remained constant and yall who have shifted your actions become irational or out right attempted to hurt me. It is not in my to be mean or hurtful but I will protect myself and those I love as best I can within the context of peace. Take a good look and realize what yall are doing. hurts doesn't it.

There is more but I think I will wait and add that as part 2 to this later. Till then hugz sulis

posted by digitalsulis @ 7:32 AM 0 comments

Sex lives of the .... uhm well just read it
OMG woke up this morning to a good laugh. Soulhuntre addressed an issue on his blog I know people have teased him about for years. Personally made me almost pass out I was laughing so hard. Having been one of those annoying people who want to know everything. And being one of the few who caught his film at 11 back a few years ago. chuckles Tats will never forgive me for that one. Hey I tried calling you guys on the phone to warn ya but you didn't answer. but anyways read the blog its is stamped all over with Soul own brand of humor:

Let's be real here... have you really thought this through? I mean, considering the facts of the situation:

1. There are two of them
   
2. There are only 24 hours a day
   
3. I am deeply involved in my nefarious plot to take over the world
   
4. I am just such a stud muffin it even hurts ME when I don’t get a chance to have sex with myself... and I just keep getting more and more godlike daily.

How could they possibly be happy or satisfied with their sex lives when it is simply impossible for me to give them all the sweet loving they cannot help but crave from me... I mean, it's ME, SOULHUNTRE.
Good lord woman, how could anyone ever get enough?
Full text...

But after all that. Sulis musses is it possible to ever have ENOUGH sex! I think NOT!

posted by digitalsulis @ 7:51 AM 0 comments

I often wonder why things seem to go in cycles. Life will go along at a nice clip your happy and everyone seems to get along then something happens and the world falls apart. the thing is it seems to go in a cycle of like 30 days or 3 months etc. Personally I would just like everyone to fucking get the fuck along. Stop running away. Stop acting like complete and total booger butts. (my new favorite word one of the kids around her says it all the time)and start just being the fuck happy they are alive. Life is way to fucking short for all this drama people. I want out of your soap oprah. I just want everyone to get along and do the right things. Its not a freaking competition people. We are all supposed to be looking out for eachother. When exactly did that stop. As for me I refuse to allow yall to bring me down. I am finally feeling good and happy. If yall want to be pissy and fight go somewhere else I dont want to hear it. K
I love you all but I am done being everyone whipping bitch. kisses. sulis

posted by digitalsulis @ 9:19 PM 0 comments